Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I had run out of hope.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

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You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s still here.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

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And the sadness?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Why am I so afraid that gun owners have set traps to kill me outside my house or my car?

Be who you already are.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

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I was tired of trying and failing.

The sadness was still there.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

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It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

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This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of fighting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Is Andrew Tate losing popularity?

You are like me, then.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why do people who aren't trans feel the need to put pronouns next to their name or picture? It seems so cringeworthy to me, to participate in that SJW paradigm of thought, like they are a spineless person who just goes along with the trends.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.